JETに出したアプリケーションが不安がストレスになる日
面接の有り無しお告げに待機中でストレスが溜まる
これが続いたら次いでに狂う
自身満々で生きられると、
どうだろう
落ちたらより一層な鬱病に罹ってしまう
(「抱けないあの娘」がグーグル日本語入力からサジェストされ、また面白い裏文化教えてくれたｗｗｗ）
イブプロフェンとタイレノールにあるacetominophen（＝アセトアミノフェン）が日本で買えることを日本語のできない方のための生活方法サイト知らされ、でもよくカフェインがピルに含まれることも発見。不思議に思うけどね
並木が結氷で、初めて冬らしき風景ができたのが一月だとはあまりにも惜しき想い。。。
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Impressive
"It was not that unusual for nihonga artists to work in two different capacities, that is, as illustrators and as serious painters. But rarely do we see an artist who bridged the gap between images of mass culture and serious art, successfully elevating an image of popular culture to the level of academic art."
--Marika Inoue, in "Kiyokata's Asasuzu: The Emergence of the Jogakusei Image", on Kiyotaka's Asasuzu. She notes a couple of other artists in the last footnote of the article, which can be found here.
(Yes, I am doing classwork!)
--Marika Inoue, in "Kiyokata's Asasuzu: The Emergence of the Jogakusei Image", on Kiyotaka's Asasuzu. She notes a couple of other artists in the last footnote of the article, which can be found here.
(Yes, I am doing classwork!)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
適切な時刻に日記を付けることとは
己、強くなるべし
落ち込むんじゃないぞ！
活字中毒になれたらどうかな
今だとドラマでもこう無駄暇潰し（暇がまずないのに！）より増しだ
でも今日のニュウヨークタイムズがあまりにも暗く描かれているし
やっぱり落ち込むんだ
いざ、俳句！
俺はもう
怠け者だぞ
知ったはず
知っておけ
俺は本当
ダメだって
たべないよ
おれだってそう
にんげんは
人間は
食べては無駄だ
人参も
落ち込むんじゃないぞ！
活字中毒になれたらどうかな
今だとドラマでもこう無駄暇潰し（暇がまずないのに！）より増しだ
でも今日のニュウヨークタイムズがあまりにも暗く描かれているし
やっぱり落ち込むんだ
いざ、俳句！
俺はもう
怠け者だぞ
知ったはず
知っておけ
俺は本当
ダメだって
たべないよ
おれだってそう
にんげんは
人間は
食べては無駄だ
人参も
Thursday, January 27, 2011
LNYF soon. Will be relieved when it's over.
Being forced to drop a class to have full credit in a class that's required for my major, like most all of my classes this semester. I would have played around last semester if I had thought this was coming...
Excited for the Taiwanese and Korean film festivals though.
------*Essay Dump: Imitation of Tanizaki Junichiro's In Praise of Shadows*
I am not normally one who believes in the taste of brands, but certainly their power is another story. Rooted to the spot, I was awash with memories of my mother’s homemade chicken noodle soup, memories the closest of which I actually had came from cans much similar. Something quick, heartwarming, something for the soul, as that popular book series would have us to believe. As one professed food addict, however, I wholeheartedly agreed and reached for another.
Two cylinders, two amalgamations of an infinite number of circles stacked one another, perfectly symmetrical... I had a vision of myself later that night as always, in that rare state where the kids were finally asleep and I could finally have a few hours to myself. The dim single lamp above the table normally used was supplanted with one much brighter I had received in my early college years from an exchange student friend, and I was busying myself with how I would expose their contents. Plugging in my grandmother’s can opener would require maneuvering behind the microwave and choosing which appliance was unnecessary and was too much of a nuisance, so I grabbed the tab and pulled the lid back, reveling at the sight of the steamy goodness that was to come. Something felt unnatural, however, and the running of my thumb across the top of the can in my hand left no questions. Where had the grating sounds, the fear of waking the kids, the same forbidity and threat of tetanus that had ruled so much of my childhood gone? Where was the intimacy, and just what had it been sacrificed for?
In my vision I could only stare at the lone circle separated from all the others, and I stuffed the can that was instinctively on its way to the basket deep into the recesses of the shelves and left it, curious and glinting.
---------------------
Being forced to drop a class to have full credit in a class that's required for my major, like most all of my classes this semester. I would have played around last semester if I had thought this was coming...
Excited for the Taiwanese and Korean film festivals though.
------*Essay Dump: Imitation of Tanizaki Junichiro's In Praise of Shadows*
Shopping in the Dark
On a recent trip to Schnucks, I noticed the glint of a curious something stuffed into the recesses of the shelves. With great effort I reached and was astonished as the contents were divulged. I recalled a scolding from my grandmother, on how this very object was forbidden and life threatening, and how my face filled with glee when I was allowed to use the electric can opener for the first time. In my hand and, instinctively on its way to the basket, was a can of Campbell’s soup.I am not normally one who believes in the taste of brands, but certainly their power is another story. Rooted to the spot, I was awash with memories of my mother’s homemade chicken noodle soup, memories the closest of which I actually had came from cans much similar. Something quick, heartwarming, something for the soul, as that popular book series would have us to believe. As one professed food addict, however, I wholeheartedly agreed and reached for another.
Two cylinders, two amalgamations of an infinite number of circles stacked one another, perfectly symmetrical... I had a vision of myself later that night as always, in that rare state where the kids were finally asleep and I could finally have a few hours to myself. The dim single lamp above the table normally used was supplanted with one much brighter I had received in my early college years from an exchange student friend, and I was busying myself with how I would expose their contents. Plugging in my grandmother’s can opener would require maneuvering behind the microwave and choosing which appliance was unnecessary and was too much of a nuisance, so I grabbed the tab and pulled the lid back, reveling at the sight of the steamy goodness that was to come. Something felt unnatural, however, and the running of my thumb across the top of the can in my hand left no questions. Where had the grating sounds, the fear of waking the kids, the same forbidity and threat of tetanus that had ruled so much of my childhood gone? Where was the intimacy, and just what had it been sacrificed for?
In my vision I could only stare at the lone circle separated from all the others, and I stuffed the can that was instinctively on its way to the basket deep into the recesses of the shelves and left it, curious and glinting.
---------------------
"Even a diamond, if not polished, will fail to shine;
People, too, unless they study, will not demonstrate true virtue.
If one is diligent every moment all day long,
Like the hands of a clock that move without pause
What is there that will not be achieved?"
People, too, unless they study, will not demonstrate true virtue.
If one is diligent every moment all day long,
Like the hands of a clock that move without pause
What is there that will not be achieved?"
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
だからこそ、もっと熱くなれよ
My Japanese is starting to suck enough for me to notice it.
Today I said,
保つべきよ
instead of
取っておくべきよ
Orz...
And I totally blanked on how to say thanks for big favors...
I am remembering random things now. Maybe sleep is what helps.
もっと仲良くなりたいんだよ！
I am eating Pretz for the first time in a long time. They taste good, like I remember them (although less intense because of diet changes maybe?), but dunno how I feel. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask for them? Although I did go into Lee for the first time in a long time -- and I suddenly saw a ton of my explore kids. It was really interesting :)
Had a (sorta) long talk with Deon... that was kinda interesting.
「その内にね」 still kinda haunted by those words, although I'm definitely (or at least I have the impression that I am) romanticizing the situation in which those words arose...
Today I said,
保つべきよ
instead of
取っておくべきよ
Orz...
And I totally blanked on how to say thanks for big favors...
I am remembering random things now. Maybe sleep is what helps.
もっと仲良くなりたいんだよ！
I am eating Pretz for the first time in a long time. They taste good, like I remember them (although less intense because of diet changes maybe?), but dunno how I feel. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask for them? Although I did go into Lee for the first time in a long time -- and I suddenly saw a ton of my explore kids. It was really interesting :)
Had a (sorta) long talk with Deon... that was kinda interesting.
「その内にね」 still kinda haunted by those words, although I'm definitely (or at least I have the impression that I am) romanticizing the situation in which those words arose...
Sunday, January 23, 2011
So inefficient...
*Sigh*
People are so stupid. There's a lot of bashing on the Japanese education system for it's English on some newspaper site I was reading -- for the most part completely ignoring the focus that the system has, on the college entrance exam level and beyond.
What it is is, grammar translation. This is what language education was based and measured on up until the mid 20th century or so, when mass immigration showed a need for new methods of language teaching in mixed native-language classrooms. What grammar translation gets students good at is just that: TRANSLATION. There are some beautiful translations, and many concepts embodied by newly coined words in Japanese, that are the product of students under the grammar translation method.
Perhaps the biggest effect this had, in the Japanese context, is to make a ton of information AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC; really, if you want to read a masterwork in language X, it will take a long time of study, a commitment that most people are not really willing to make. The same thing goes for even basic information, like news or pop culture. Americans today, mostly visible in the anime/manga/Kpop fandoms, rely on people with interpretation yes, but most often translation skills (even/esp. for songs). The citizens of the rest of the world have more access to information, published in their own native languages and also English, which is really an imbalance that needs to be corrected.
In the Japanese context, they have simply not adapted to the current trend of putting a lot of weight on creating bilingual SPEAKERS of a language, which involves a totally different learning process. It's very hard (in terms of acquisition) for an old man to become a native-like speaker of a foreign language; but give him dictionaries, grammar rules, and a lot of literature (examples of great writing), and he can learn to produce more beautiful writing in the target language than many highly educated native speakers.
As we have more direct contact with people from other backgrounds, it is sort of natural for our values to shift in terms of language production. But to completely ignore and devalue translation (when in fact it is still an integral part of our efforts for communication) in favor of attempting to create (artificial?) bilingual speakers is just silly and every failure in that attempt deprives people of the chance to access information themselves.
This is part of my motivations for learning how to surf the web in Japanese; to find all the types of sites that I look to and see how the Japanese are doing things, particularly graphic design.
Then again the prevalence of cellphone-based internet and stricter registers of communication also complicate things, so the web landscape could indeed be considerably different. That was sort of a segway with a big leap in logic, but man
THIS GODDAMN GIRL BEHIND ME IN THE COMPUTER LAB PLAYING HER STUPID TV SHOW OUT LOUD IS SO FREAKING ANNOYING.
I'm gonna get out of here -- I've learned to 我慢 too well and have to work on that =__=;;
Too passive, especially when it comes to women (double meaning there ohohoho)
People are so stupid. There's a lot of bashing on the Japanese education system for it's English on some newspaper site I was reading -- for the most part completely ignoring the focus that the system has, on the college entrance exam level and beyond.
What it is is, grammar translation. This is what language education was based and measured on up until the mid 20th century or so, when mass immigration showed a need for new methods of language teaching in mixed native-language classrooms. What grammar translation gets students good at is just that: TRANSLATION. There are some beautiful translations, and many concepts embodied by newly coined words in Japanese, that are the product of students under the grammar translation method.
Perhaps the biggest effect this had, in the Japanese context, is to make a ton of information AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC; really, if you want to read a masterwork in language X, it will take a long time of study, a commitment that most people are not really willing to make. The same thing goes for even basic information, like news or pop culture. Americans today, mostly visible in the anime/manga/Kpop fandoms, rely on people with interpretation yes, but most often translation skills (even/esp. for songs). The citizens of the rest of the world have more access to information, published in their own native languages and also English, which is really an imbalance that needs to be corrected.
In the Japanese context, they have simply not adapted to the current trend of putting a lot of weight on creating bilingual SPEAKERS of a language, which involves a totally different learning process. It's very hard (in terms of acquisition) for an old man to become a native-like speaker of a foreign language; but give him dictionaries, grammar rules, and a lot of literature (examples of great writing), and he can learn to produce more beautiful writing in the target language than many highly educated native speakers.
As we have more direct contact with people from other backgrounds, it is sort of natural for our values to shift in terms of language production. But to completely ignore and devalue translation (when in fact it is still an integral part of our efforts for communication) in favor of attempting to create (artificial?) bilingual speakers is just silly and every failure in that attempt deprives people of the chance to access information themselves.
This is part of my motivations for learning how to surf the web in Japanese; to find all the types of sites that I look to and see how the Japanese are doing things, particularly graphic design.
Then again the prevalence of cellphone-based internet and stricter registers of communication also complicate things, so the web landscape could indeed be considerably different. That was sort of a segway with a big leap in logic, but man
THIS GODDAMN GIRL BEHIND ME IN THE COMPUTER LAB PLAYING HER STUPID TV SHOW OUT LOUD IS SO FREAKING ANNOYING.
I'm gonna get out of here -- I've learned to 我慢 too well and have to work on that =__=;;
Too passive, especially when it comes to women (double meaning there ohohoho)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Left Behind (series)
Not moving after all... what's for the best?
Had a feeling this would happen.
When I try to help someone, lately I realize I need the help more than they do...
On Wall-E (wikipedia):
"The Ancient Greek tradition associates the birth of art with a Corinthian maiden who longing to preserve her lover’s shadow traces it on the wall before he departed for war. The myth reminds us that art was born out of longing and often means more for the creator than the muse."
Had a feeling this would happen.
When I try to help someone, lately I realize I need the help more than they do...
On Wall-E (wikipedia):
"The Ancient Greek tradition associates the birth of art with a Corinthian maiden who longing to preserve her lover’s shadow traces it on the wall before he departed for war. The myth reminds us that art was born out of longing and often means more for the creator than the muse."
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
From "Inuk, the Inventor" as it appeared in the Korean Lit anthology Azalea
"Photographs don’t just capture people, they capture time as well.
No, you can’t catch hold of time. You can only think you catch time.
Time keeps moving forward, and we stop as we look at the image.
It occurred to me that maybe the reason pictures exist is so we can
constantly lag behind in the race with time."
Have too much reading already...
No, you can’t catch hold of time. You can only think you catch time.
Time keeps moving forward, and we stop as we look at the image.
It occurred to me that maybe the reason pictures exist is so we can
constantly lag behind in the race with time."
Have too much reading already...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Aaah, postsecret
She
Tells me that
You are (not) alone
But it's
Complicating things
Maybe
I am just being selfish
Or maybe
I too have problems.
This week's lucky numbers:
33 28 53
Tells me that
You are (not) alone
But it's
Complicating things
Maybe
I am just being selfish
Or maybe
I too have problems.
This week's lucky numbers:
33 28 53
Saturday, January 15, 2011
When will I learn...?
"Frequently the most talented people are those most aware of their own deficiencies and most willing to work hard to overcome them"
Caught up to Kekkaishi. It's so much better to be able to read something all the way through. Because of that I found out Hunter x Hunter is always going on breaks just because the author feels like it, so it's unlikely that I will finish it. Because of those though, I rediscovered an old manga, Ii's. It's a "very erotic very violent", yet ultimately pure while true to life-love story... makes me want to reread and compare it to Love Hina...
Joined Moshi Monsters because of Evonna. Even though I didn't want to, it's kind of easy to get wrapped up in it. Maybe that's why facebook games like mob wars and the farming game are so addictive.
Been kicking myself lately, for ruining my eligibility for Japanese government scholarships. Why is it that Chicago has all the embassies???? It has Japan, Taiwan, Korea, China, and tons of other countries I'm not really focused on. And because of it, they get all the investment and have all the awareness and support of the main countries. That means not only exposure to the languages and cultures, but also to the scholarships!!! Just thinking now, if only I had known I might have applied (mind you I would have become a very different person, and maybe even lonelier, never had my time at Waseda [I will need to muse later on not taking the chance to become another person, or at least not remaining that way], but throwing myself into a position where I would have had to define my interests and goals would have been beneficial -- as it is I've largely wasted four years and the time and money of a lot of other people, with no clear plan or even paths open for me; in fact with globalization the paths are closing faster and faster, bilingualism, something I've yet to -- and at my current motivation levels am unlikely to -- achieve, is being taken as a commonplace commodity, all the while people in places like Chicago have a head start simply from exposure) and been accepted into the MEXT scholarship program, which pays for 5 years of schooling in Japan plus spending money. Language training is on them, and after the first year you are proficient enough to attend college in Japanese. Looking at so many of the other students at Waseda (particularly Koreans) who had set such a goal for themselves and made it through juken I can't help but feel insanely jealous. Someone like me, who with the exception of those last 4-5 months at Waseda has always simply drifted through life... sometimes I feel like it's far too late, and whisper しょうがねぇよ
But is that the right way to keep going? If only I knew How to make it
So much to learn, so much to read, so much to eat.
Caught up to Kekkaishi. It's so much better to be able to read something all the way through. Because of that I found out Hunter x Hunter is always going on breaks just because the author feels like it, so it's unlikely that I will finish it. Because of those though, I rediscovered an old manga, Ii's. It's a "very erotic very violent", yet ultimately pure while true to life-love story... makes me want to reread and compare it to Love Hina...
Joined Moshi Monsters because of Evonna. Even though I didn't want to, it's kind of easy to get wrapped up in it. Maybe that's why facebook games like mob wars and the farming game are so addictive.
Been kicking myself lately, for ruining my eligibility for Japanese government scholarships. Why is it that Chicago has all the embassies???? It has Japan, Taiwan, Korea, China, and tons of other countries I'm not really focused on. And because of it, they get all the investment and have all the awareness and support of the main countries. That means not only exposure to the languages and cultures, but also to the scholarships!!! Just thinking now, if only I had known I might have applied (mind you I would have become a very different person, and maybe even lonelier, never had my time at Waseda [I will need to muse later on not taking the chance to become another person, or at least not remaining that way], but throwing myself into a position where I would have had to define my interests and goals would have been beneficial -- as it is I've largely wasted four years and the time and money of a lot of other people, with no clear plan or even paths open for me; in fact with globalization the paths are closing faster and faster, bilingualism, something I've yet to -- and at my current motivation levels am unlikely to -- achieve, is being taken as a commonplace commodity, all the while people in places like Chicago have a head start simply from exposure) and been accepted into the MEXT scholarship program, which pays for 5 years of schooling in Japan plus spending money. Language training is on them, and after the first year you are proficient enough to attend college in Japanese. Looking at so many of the other students at Waseda (particularly Koreans) who had set such a goal for themselves and made it through juken I can't help but feel insanely jealous. Someone like me, who with the exception of those last 4-5 months at Waseda has always simply drifted through life... sometimes I feel like it's far too late, and whisper しょうがねぇよ
But is that the right way to keep going? If only I knew How to make it
So much to learn, so much to read, so much to eat.
希望
JET interviews are the week of Feb. 28th – March 5th.
Kinda funny, the main website is sorta secretive (not updated often), but the Chicago Alumni Association has a job posting for former JETs to come help out with interviews. Kinda amusing.
Normally I don't say these types of things out loud, I know I have horrible luck and I've inherited some of my grandmother's superstition... but I've already been thinking it loudly, and after all it's supposed to be about a certain skillset, right?
I hope I get an interview.
Kinda funny, the main website is sorta secretive (not updated often), but the Chicago Alumni Association has a job posting for former JETs to come help out with interviews. Kinda amusing.
Normally I don't say these types of things out loud, I know I have horrible luck and I've inherited some of my grandmother's superstition... but I've already been thinking it loudly, and after all it's supposed to be about a certain skillset, right?
I hope I get an interview.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Feel bad
So in my post the other day I mentioned KSA...
but I forgot LISA. OMG HOW DID I FORGET LISA.
I had to struggle for Mary, and even then there was a vague feeling there was something big still missing...
BUT STILL. AGHHHH.
Just goes to echo my thoughts the other night, that sometimes the people who have the biggest impact on us are easy to forget... Thinking back to my time in Japan, there were soooo many people that helped me, so many amazing people... I even psuedo-hitchhiked in Seoul! And without constantly reminding myself of those events, they fade away so easily...
I found voice files on my phone from interviews I did for a project; one voice I recognized instantly, another took me nearly 10 minutes, and there are 2 mystery files that sound like I went to a comedy show or something, but right now it's just a mystery to me.
When did I take this picture? Who is this person again?
Friend requests from people I thought I would only meet once, and then they would fade into a separate path, forgotten...
Maybe, if the expansion of cell phone reception to the most remote corners of the world represents human greed, then this enabling of us to retain information could be taken as an even greater form of avarice... or maybe it's another double-bladed sword, we are less and less able to obtain solitude, and getting more and more aware of just how much we are forgetting, and the details we are not able to grasp in the first place...
but I forgot LISA. OMG HOW DID I FORGET LISA.
I had to struggle for Mary, and even then there was a vague feeling there was something big still missing...
BUT STILL. AGHHHH.
Just goes to echo my thoughts the other night, that sometimes the people who have the biggest impact on us are easy to forget... Thinking back to my time in Japan, there were soooo many people that helped me, so many amazing people... I even psuedo-hitchhiked in Seoul! And without constantly reminding myself of those events, they fade away so easily...
I found voice files on my phone from interviews I did for a project; one voice I recognized instantly, another took me nearly 10 minutes, and there are 2 mystery files that sound like I went to a comedy show or something, but right now it's just a mystery to me.
When did I take this picture? Who is this person again?
Friend requests from people I thought I would only meet once, and then they would fade into a separate path, forgotten...
Maybe, if the expansion of cell phone reception to the most remote corners of the world represents human greed, then this enabling of us to retain information could be taken as an even greater form of avarice... or maybe it's another double-bladed sword, we are less and less able to obtain solitude, and getting more and more aware of just how much we are forgetting, and the details we are not able to grasp in the first place...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thoughts
"There's nothing more beautiful, than a love that will never be fulfilled"
This was from chapter 50 of Kekkaishi. Can't say I don't agree with it...
Also, I am addicted to Soul Eater (Chapter 5)
This was from chapter 50 of Kekkaishi. Can't say I don't agree with it...
Also, I am addicted to Soul Eater (Chapter 5)
Friday, January 7, 2011
I think I'm turning into a hikkikomori
"And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." -- Hans Gruber, apparently. Something like that is what I want to achieve in life, but at the same time it's so scary. And I know I'm having premature bouts of that emotion.
This comic is so epic.
Also, something Da said a while ago got me started thinking about the song "Like a G6". Nothing deep, just actually listening to the song and perusing the wikipedia page. Aside from the band (Far East Movement) being Asian-American, and a few visual cues such as a neon "Korea town" sign in one of their music videos, there isn't anything that deviates from mainstream American party culture; maybe there are subtleties I am missing as well as this just being a song aimed at mainstream (cf. Utada Hikaru's latest English album), but as such I don't see any reason for the rallies of Asian-American identity that are evident at times in places like angryasianman (a wonderful blog, most of the time).
Just now I read an article from his blog, with calls to vote for Eliot Chang, an Asian-American comedian trying to get on comedy central. In a spot, he appeals to his "Asian brothers and sisters" to get a face like his on television. For all of his appealing to his identity in the video though, on his homepage there are two white models to the one asian model surrounding him in the main image; so perhaps the video was more aimed specifically at angryasianman than it let on, although there is a button called "Asian SexyStar". He also has a bunch of highlights and tv spots posted onto the site. In two of his initial clips, he does make mention of his identity as a sort of icebreaker for the crowd, but he rapidly shifts to more, race-less topics (such as deaf/blind students and a conspiracy theory, and fun things to do with sign language instructors). Perhaps it's the target audience, and also the fact that in-house comedy is largely dependent on creating a mood that is special to the audience/participants, a context that largely does not carry outside of the comedy club.
But then again, this reflects a larger syndrome that is probably within all the races. Just like with what the Black Power Movement has become (or in retrospect probably been all along, to some degree), public minority figures (see Jeremy Lin the latest Asian-American NBA player) inevitably are seen as representing their own race. But at the same time in many cases the ideas they are representing are more attuned with a set of general American cultures or an ideal version of it, or are simply using their identity to garner support among people who identify similarly to them. This is endemic in regards to race, gender, sexual identity, military veteran status, you name it.
The scary thing is seeing these repercussions in my own life. It's nothing new, but thinking about ACF in particular, and campus culture in general, gets me a little riled. In an echo of the same principles that threatened to divide Heisei this year -- although in our case they are just sort of ignored and are simmering under the surface until our class graduates, after which things will hopefully be peachy (perhaps for the first time?) -- there's a theory that the model minority myth places strains on Asian-American children to cope by either being "whitewashed" or by redoubling their identities as Asian-American by forming peer groups with pure or high concentrations of Asian(-American)s, probably helping to enforce the idea of Asian homogeneity and emerging as the youth movement/slogan "Asian Pride". How recent "Asian Pride" as an emerging identity-forming slogan came about in the United States is another question (around the time of Vincent Chin, or the civil rights movements in the 60's/70's?), but ours is probably the first generation to grow up with such a unifying type of thinking. It continues to college, where you find people (this is the crux of the threatening split for Heisei, and this was so shocking to me! Just this past semester I only fully realized after I was told by a practitioner that people really do this) who just want to have a place (a safe space, perhaps) to gather with people who are "like them".
I mentioned ACF because on an individual basis that's where I have personally received the most antagonism, although I was active in MOI (think subsidiary of Harambee) and realize that the divide runs deep through Indian, Black, and Asian students (within the racial/cultural divides as well). But it's really interesting/sad how, for the most part, we divide into these groups and largely do the pursue the same goals and talk about the same topics.
Maybe I was a naive underclassmen, but I always felt KSA (under Mary/Seonha/Jarod) had made the most progress in terms of being a challenging, welcoming space for everyone involved. If I get a chance this semester, it will be interesting to see how it has grown.
I've been a TSO groupie for as long as I can remember. Renault/Alex encouraged me to go, that Kathy and her sister were most beautiful girls I'd ever seen made me stick around, and that the group is actually a family made me want to join. Experiencing a bit of Taiwan validated, in some small way, that idolatry. I still wonder how different I would be if I had applied, and been accepted, into the "TSO Family"...
I've really digressed, and once again done the bulk and the best of my writing at 3 am on a subject completely unrelated to the more pressing schoolwork bearing down my throat and that damned econ thesis I foolishly agreed to edit. I'm going to choose to treat it as preparation for attempting again to conquer Ronald Takaki's "Strangers from a Different Shore" and "A Different Mirror". I will have time now to decide whether going into Asian-American Studies is really a right and viable option for me. Going to Berkeley or any other school in the California system will undoubtedly expose me to higher levels of this grouping, immersion and exclusion phenomenon; if WU bothers me, that is undoubtedly a good thing academically and in terms of a drive for social justice but, psychologically it could be a problem down the line.
A few videos related to the "research" I did on Like a G6. Interesting parodies. Kinda interesting how all the Jesus figures are bearded white guys haha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBxfGdRZvaI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxljT2kcdmY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBFACBEEks8
This comic is so epic.
Also, something Da said a while ago got me started thinking about the song "Like a G6". Nothing deep, just actually listening to the song and perusing the wikipedia page. Aside from the band (Far East Movement) being Asian-American, and a few visual cues such as a neon "Korea town" sign in one of their music videos, there isn't anything that deviates from mainstream American party culture; maybe there are subtleties I am missing as well as this just being a song aimed at mainstream (cf. Utada Hikaru's latest English album), but as such I don't see any reason for the rallies of Asian-American identity that are evident at times in places like angryasianman (a wonderful blog, most of the time).
Just now I read an article from his blog, with calls to vote for Eliot Chang, an Asian-American comedian trying to get on comedy central. In a spot, he appeals to his "Asian brothers and sisters" to get a face like his on television. For all of his appealing to his identity in the video though, on his homepage there are two white models to the one asian model surrounding him in the main image; so perhaps the video was more aimed specifically at angryasianman than it let on, although there is a button called "Asian SexyStar". He also has a bunch of highlights and tv spots posted onto the site. In two of his initial clips, he does make mention of his identity as a sort of icebreaker for the crowd, but he rapidly shifts to more, race-less topics (such as deaf/blind students and a conspiracy theory, and fun things to do with sign language instructors). Perhaps it's the target audience, and also the fact that in-house comedy is largely dependent on creating a mood that is special to the audience/participants, a context that largely does not carry outside of the comedy club.
But then again, this reflects a larger syndrome that is probably within all the races. Just like with what the Black Power Movement has become (or in retrospect probably been all along, to some degree), public minority figures (see Jeremy Lin the latest Asian-American NBA player) inevitably are seen as representing their own race. But at the same time in many cases the ideas they are representing are more attuned with a set of general American cultures or an ideal version of it, or are simply using their identity to garner support among people who identify similarly to them. This is endemic in regards to race, gender, sexual identity, military veteran status, you name it.
The scary thing is seeing these repercussions in my own life. It's nothing new, but thinking about ACF in particular, and campus culture in general, gets me a little riled. In an echo of the same principles that threatened to divide Heisei this year -- although in our case they are just sort of ignored and are simmering under the surface until our class graduates, after which things will hopefully be peachy (perhaps for the first time?) -- there's a theory that the model minority myth places strains on Asian-American children to cope by either being "whitewashed" or by redoubling their identities as Asian-American by forming peer groups with pure or high concentrations of Asian(-American)s, probably helping to enforce the idea of Asian homogeneity and emerging as the youth movement/slogan "Asian Pride". How recent "Asian Pride" as an emerging identity-forming slogan came about in the United States is another question (around the time of Vincent Chin, or the civil rights movements in the 60's/70's?), but ours is probably the first generation to grow up with such a unifying type of thinking. It continues to college, where you find people (this is the crux of the threatening split for Heisei, and this was so shocking to me! Just this past semester I only fully realized after I was told by a practitioner that people really do this) who just want to have a place (a safe space, perhaps) to gather with people who are "like them".
I mentioned ACF because on an individual basis that's where I have personally received the most antagonism, although I was active in MOI (think subsidiary of Harambee) and realize that the divide runs deep through Indian, Black, and Asian students (within the racial/cultural divides as well). But it's really interesting/sad how, for the most part, we divide into these groups and largely do the pursue the same goals and talk about the same topics.
Maybe I was a naive underclassmen, but I always felt KSA (under Mary/Seonha/Jarod) had made the most progress in terms of being a challenging, welcoming space for everyone involved. If I get a chance this semester, it will be interesting to see how it has grown.
I've been a TSO groupie for as long as I can remember. Renault/Alex encouraged me to go, that Kathy and her sister were most beautiful girls I'd ever seen made me stick around, and that the group is actually a family made me want to join. Experiencing a bit of Taiwan validated, in some small way, that idolatry. I still wonder how different I would be if I had applied, and been accepted, into the "TSO Family"...
I've really digressed, and once again done the bulk and the best of my writing at 3 am on a subject completely unrelated to the more pressing schoolwork bearing down my throat and that damned econ thesis I foolishly agreed to edit. I'm going to choose to treat it as preparation for attempting again to conquer Ronald Takaki's "Strangers from a Different Shore" and "A Different Mirror". I will have time now to decide whether going into Asian-American Studies is really a right and viable option for me. Going to Berkeley or any other school in the California system will undoubtedly expose me to higher levels of this grouping, immersion and exclusion phenomenon; if WU bothers me, that is undoubtedly a good thing academically and in terms of a drive for social justice but, psychologically it could be a problem down the line.
A few videos related to the "research" I did on Like a G6. Interesting parodies. Kinda interesting how all the Jesus figures are bearded white guys haha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBxfGdRZvaI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxljT2kcdmY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBFACBEEks8
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Grandma's Birthday
But mostly another unproductive, uneventful day...
Why am I still playing Breath of Fire??
Why am I still playing Breath of Fire??
Monday, January 3, 2011
Notes to self
You WILL find something to do with your life. Stop worrying.
You CAN get good at something, if you work for it. Remember Yosakoi.
You SHOULD look at what other people are doing, and derive not despair but inspiration.
Sites and videos to keep me on my toes. When will I turn dreams to reality?
http://www.deandrean.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4sOfO8Ei1g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCt2nZF2nLk
http://keikakudoori.net/blog/?p=431
http://kosupurei.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html (look for nell)
Uverworld Ukiyo crossing pv?
http://isunakun.deviantart.com/art/Naruto-Typography-60119567?q=boost%3Apopular+naruto++typography&qo=0 ASCII dedication
Maybe I should look into programming as well....
Need to hurry and finalize my class schedule. Is 26+ credits even possible?? Should I even be taking classes beyond the minimum requirement? Should I, too, take time off?
You CAN get good at something, if you work for it. Remember Yosakoi.
You SHOULD look at what other people are doing, and derive not despair but inspiration.
Sites and videos to keep me on my toes. When will I turn dreams to reality?
http://www.deandrean.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4sOfO8Ei1g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCt2nZF2nLk
http://keikakudoori.net/blog/?p=431
http://kosupurei.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html (look for nell)
Uverworld Ukiyo crossing pv?
http://isunakun.deviantart.com/art/Naruto-Typography-60119567?q=boost%3Apopular+naruto++typography&qo=0 ASCII dedication
Maybe I should look into programming as well....
Need to hurry and finalize my class schedule. Is 26+ credits even possible?? Should I even be taking classes beyond the minimum requirement? Should I, too, take time off?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Editing a thesis is so much easier than writing one of your own! (Econ)
"Hard work doesn’t guarantee success, but lack of hard work almost certainly guarantees failure."
Need to get this through my head, quickly.
It's from the SMBC guy. Apparently he went back to college for a second bachelor's, at a state school just like I've been considering. In-state would mean Mizzou, UMSL or Rolla though for me now...
Also, this is a really entertaining website, and just from looking at one of the solutions there's so much math and physics I've forgotten and so much that I've never even thought about. The former is sad/pathetic and the latter should have been obvious.
----------
[Edit]
Decided to start drawing again.
Working on getting Illustrator again. Probably should invest in another computer and do things properly though.
Friends are also taking time off. If I was thinking I probably would have done a semester or a year of my own...
Apartments are opening up, haha. Maybe I should be looking more into them, doing the rational thing -- at least double-checking my options.
LNYF.... is worrying.... hitori de yatteitara yokatta noni ><; or not been such a Nice Guy (tm) ><;;
Gotta remember to start watching TED talks
I've only recently started saying it to people, but I don't understand money. I have no concept of value (other than an aversion to paying for anything which leads to mizerly qualities that are only mitigated by instances of splurging on insignificant items during moments of weakness and/or laziness), or why other people value it. I understand even less about the stock market, and agree wholeheartedly with the idea that our economical models cannot possibly be based in sound logic if they are under the assumption of limitless growth and eventual equality in terms of payment of all people and that a post-agricultural/post-industrial global society can be a reality.
As such I've purposefully stopped myself from learning economics and business models (although they both represent major options in terms of opening up possible career paths and employment opportunities, so I may wind up studying them (MBA, anyone?) and pretending to understand and play along with the other people, kinda like a useful application of (hopefully limited-mode) non-savant autistic qualities.
Anyway, stumbling through wikipedia and a couple of other sources I came across the story of one Nassim Nicholas Taleb , who more or less shares some of those ideas with me and is a sudden big inspiration, although he does understand the markets and a whole lot better than I aspire to. He wrote a book, The Black Swan , a revamping of a theory that I originally thought was related to the recent movie (which I also cannot believe is scary...) detailing how the investment strategies embodied by and in the general stock market don't make sense in the long term, and the paranoia that is synonymous with the stock market floor really doesn't matter in terms of investment strategies. Anyway, he concentrates on the low probability of events with an extremely high effect on things, and our ignorance of them even though they happen all the time; in this story detailing a sort of battle of morals and strategy with one-time mentor Victor Niederhoffer, the part where he described how it is easy to be the one that wins small things over a long time and bounce back from large losses, but it is much harder for us to deal with steady losses while waiting in the hopes of a huge payout. Inspiration, and better put in the article and probably his book as well.
Hoping to find the stocks of ここがへんだよ、日本人!, a TBS show that ran until 2002. Occasionally there's some on youtube, but there's 4 years worth of dialogue and an interesting study to be done (Ohohoh, focus for Masters/PH.D in Gaijin Studies?) just on the transcription of their speech, as pointed out in a few forums, and the clashes in use of language (like one I only noticed my 5th or so time in watching, on an episode about the 植民地としての韓国、アフリカの奴隷歴史との比較される部分に, the korean girl referred to the fast talking Zomahoun Idossou Rufin by his number and he got angry emphasizing the point the slaves lost their names and how the realities of the slave trade far outweigh the 35, no 36 (lol, reference to the show) years of colonization a unified Korea experienced. I am not sure I completely agree with that statement, although I do admire the Japanese colonization in Taiwan and Korea in it's role of the most successful language socialization ever, and think that looking at the colonization from the lens of a 政治同化 (I think that's what they called it on the show) is an interesting approach that needs more looking into -- there's probably someone that's written about it (or the colonization era in general), and anything that has takes away from my fulbright/phd disseration ideas! Add to that that time is of the essence, in being able to access (as coldly as that sounds) the people who survived the colonization and came away with Japanese ability. Learning Chinese and eventually Korean will still give me access to many other sources, and the topic of a gaijin literature in the colonization era doesn't really apply to mainland China as far as I know and would thus just be limited to the ex-patriots who were sent to the war areas and the number of colonizers that went... but my main priority in that is definitely the reception of foreign authors.
On that note still searching for places to maintain and improve my Japanese skills. Started finally going through the kanji 2100 book again, to finally get down the ones I don't recognize and increase my initial reading fluency. I need to find more sources for literature that's fun and challenging to read (Waseda's libraryyyyy whyyyyyy oh whyyyyy did I waste youuuuuuuu), but came across a couple others in my search for koko ga hen dayo. TBS news, a japanese meme , and of course asking friends (eventually).
Still have to reply to Rari. OMG.
And, echoing an inspiration というか共感 with the smbc guy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_educational_video_websites for learning on my own about a variety of topics. Other stuff to look up: science Friday’s discussion with Sam Harris (smbc guy). The Teaching Company survey courses (same guy) "Fooled by Randomness," (Taleb)
Finally starting to proofread the thesis.
Ah. Gotta reply to Aridome sensei soon ><;;
Need to get this through my head, quickly.
It's from the SMBC guy. Apparently he went back to college for a second bachelor's, at a state school just like I've been considering. In-state would mean Mizzou, UMSL or Rolla though for me now...
Also, this is a really entertaining website, and just from looking at one of the solutions there's so much math and physics I've forgotten and so much that I've never even thought about. The former is sad/pathetic and the latter should have been obvious.
----------
[Edit]
Decided to start drawing again.
Working on getting Illustrator again. Probably should invest in another computer and do things properly though.
Friends are also taking time off. If I was thinking I probably would have done a semester or a year of my own...
Apartments are opening up, haha. Maybe I should be looking more into them, doing the rational thing -- at least double-checking my options.
LNYF.... is worrying.... hitori de yatteitara yokatta noni ><; or not been such a Nice Guy (tm) ><;;
Gotta remember to start watching TED talks
I've only recently started saying it to people, but I don't understand money. I have no concept of value (other than an aversion to paying for anything which leads to mizerly qualities that are only mitigated by instances of splurging on insignificant items during moments of weakness and/or laziness), or why other people value it. I understand even less about the stock market, and agree wholeheartedly with the idea that our economical models cannot possibly be based in sound logic if they are under the assumption of limitless growth and eventual equality in terms of payment of all people and that a post-agricultural/post-industrial global society can be a reality.
As such I've purposefully stopped myself from learning economics and business models (although they both represent major options in terms of opening up possible career paths and employment opportunities, so I may wind up studying them (MBA, anyone?) and pretending to understand and play along with the other people, kinda like a useful application of (hopefully limited-mode) non-savant autistic qualities.
Anyway, stumbling through wikipedia and a couple of other sources I came across the story of one Nassim Nicholas Taleb , who more or less shares some of those ideas with me and is a sudden big inspiration, although he does understand the markets and a whole lot better than I aspire to. He wrote a book, The Black Swan , a revamping of a theory that I originally thought was related to the recent movie (which I also cannot believe is scary...) detailing how the investment strategies embodied by and in the general stock market don't make sense in the long term, and the paranoia that is synonymous with the stock market floor really doesn't matter in terms of investment strategies. Anyway, he concentrates on the low probability of events with an extremely high effect on things, and our ignorance of them even though they happen all the time; in this story detailing a sort of battle of morals and strategy with one-time mentor Victor Niederhoffer, the part where he described how it is easy to be the one that wins small things over a long time and bounce back from large losses, but it is much harder for us to deal with steady losses while waiting in the hopes of a huge payout. Inspiration, and better put in the article and probably his book as well.
Hoping to find the stocks of ここがへんだよ、日本人!, a TBS show that ran until 2002. Occasionally there's some on youtube, but there's 4 years worth of dialogue and an interesting study to be done (Ohohoh, focus for Masters/PH.D in Gaijin Studies?) just on the transcription of their speech, as pointed out in a few forums, and the clashes in use of language (like one I only noticed my 5th or so time in watching, on an episode about the 植民地としての韓国、アフリカの奴隷歴史との比較される部分に, the korean girl referred to the fast talking Zomahoun Idossou Rufin by his number and he got angry emphasizing the point the slaves lost their names and how the realities of the slave trade far outweigh the 35, no 36 (lol, reference to the show) years of colonization a unified Korea experienced. I am not sure I completely agree with that statement, although I do admire the Japanese colonization in Taiwan and Korea in it's role of the most successful language socialization ever, and think that looking at the colonization from the lens of a 政治同化 (I think that's what they called it on the show) is an interesting approach that needs more looking into -- there's probably someone that's written about it (or the colonization era in general), and anything that has takes away from my fulbright/phd disseration ideas! Add to that that time is of the essence, in being able to access (as coldly as that sounds) the people who survived the colonization and came away with Japanese ability. Learning Chinese and eventually Korean will still give me access to many other sources, and the topic of a gaijin literature in the colonization era doesn't really apply to mainland China as far as I know and would thus just be limited to the ex-patriots who were sent to the war areas and the number of colonizers that went... but my main priority in that is definitely the reception of foreign authors.
On that note still searching for places to maintain and improve my Japanese skills. Started finally going through the kanji 2100 book again, to finally get down the ones I don't recognize and increase my initial reading fluency. I need to find more sources for literature that's fun and challenging to read (Waseda's libraryyyyy whyyyyyy oh whyyyyy did I waste youuuuuuuu), but came across a couple others in my search for koko ga hen dayo. TBS news, a japanese meme , and of course asking friends (eventually).
Still have to reply to Rari. OMG.
And, echoing an inspiration というか共感 with the smbc guy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_educational_video_websites for learning on my own about a variety of topics. Other stuff to look up: science Friday’s discussion with Sam Harris (smbc guy). The Teaching Company survey courses (same guy) "Fooled by Randomness," (Taleb)
Finally starting to proofread the thesis.
Ah. Gotta reply to Aridome sensei soon ><;;
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