So, I haven't made much progress on my Japanese. Need to focus more, I guess, be more willing to speak up and test and of course go back to my summer self, watching dramas and listening to music and repeating everything I hear and reading for fun and looking up random words in the kanji dictionary while spending hours translating single pages of random books I find. What happened to that me, so so long ago (it was only summer...)?
Things were very bleh for a while, with me forgetting nearly all of the important things that I wanted and/or needed to do (I STILL need to get my re-entry permit argh), which meant everything from parties and circle stuff, connecting someone to people back home, to replying to emails, setting up my bank account, even stuff to receive a scholarship! So I was very "blur" for a while, to borrow a Singlish term, cooking and eating at 2,3,4 am and sleeping at 5,6, or 7 simply to enjoy my own solitude, which never amounted to anything productive. I screwed up and forgot to change my class registration, so I had to say goodbye to my 3 day weekend and sign up for 2 more classes with a pretty heavy work load (for me at least, and comparatively probably so). Everyone told me classwork would be pretty easy, and I guess it is? Only I managed to get myself into classes where there is a lot of work @__@ or at least a lot compared to my expectations, relying on the people who told me I would be having a ton of free time (well I messed that up for myself, but yeah...) Actually the class I was guilt-forced (self-induced) to sign up for is actually a good class, on Japanese writers after WWII, and the teacher usually gives the original Japanese along with the English translation, so I can compare. I have a translation class, but I have met some serious translation majors (Russian, their Japanese is really good), some people who are just ... really good.... other people are beginners but learning the basics much faster than I did, people of various levels so I find myself intimidated and inspired at the same time. Can those be conflicting emotions?
I have 2 classes with Japanese students: one Judo class, and one class about how War is and has been taught in the Japanese education system. Judo class worries me because the instructor talks like an older man (he is an older man...), but I can't understand most of what he says. We only had one class, but still I was intimidated to ask some of the other students what was going on; this is the first year study abroad students can take classes with regular Japanese students, so I am sort of a 代表, representative for the future generations... (I think the people in my level are generally better at Japanese though...). The War class troubles me because, I can barely understand the material, much less form my own opinions about it, or prepare an answer while trying to catch what all is said. We have LONG readings in this class, first was 30 pgs and second was 40, IN JAPANESE. I should have expected it, I guess; it was one of the few classes left, after all (haha). But a friend is in the class with me, so we will tough it out somehow. My Kanji class is really close to the level I want to be at right now; to prepare for the JLPT it will go over a lot of 重要常用漢字, but to really master the material for the test and hope to conquer the highest level, it's recommended that we go into the next highest level; it's all the same teacher, and she is incredibly, unbelievably amazing; knows her kanji and LOVES it, puts so much work into the preparation and makes us learn because we want to. It's an inspiring teaching method, and I hope that I can talk to her one day soon about it. Unfortunately that next highest Kanji level is at the same time as the War class, which is absolutely unmovable, undroppable for any reason, so I am left with the proposition of toughing out this level (it will be tough, but I cannot imagine being able to balance the work load I have now with the additional stress of learning more than triple the kanji I am now per week...) and taking the next level next semester, and studying on my own possibly for the test (or just giving up on the idea lol), or study HARD over winter break (when I should be enjoying traveling) the material from the next level and hope that I will be able to jump up to the highest level that we have (I wonder what kind of people are in that class...) and CRAM CRAM CRAM for that test... I also want to be studying for and taking the GRE while I am here, or at least prepare enough to where I will be able to do it back in the states like no problem, so there's the added burden of english vocabulary (I think that's the biggest problem I will have, although I forgot what the other sections are besides math... maybe a subject test but that would be overkill maybe...), and I STILL need to go to the American embassy....
Anyway, basically I am not used to going to school anymore so HW and focusing is still rough... very rough... and I am once again allowing myself to sit inside my room and rot when the least I could be doing is enjoy the day -- which is where my determination to buy a (totally unneccessary, although maybe I can squeeze some savings out of it) bike -- but that was making me pretty disgusted with myself as well; Did you really come here for this?? I would think to myself, unable to ask or answer.
So the Typhoon came. I stayed up too late again and slept through practically the entire thing; when I woke up the skies were clear and beautiful and perfect. So of course, I decided to fester for a few more hours indoors (I don't watch tv on my phone or even any of the dramas on my harddrive anymore... I don't know what I do. Lately showers (keep in mind now, they have pump action) take me upwards of an hour, which is absolutely ridiculous by my standards, except for when I purposefully did it in the shower after a particularly bad practice or soccer game, just standing and absorbing in the heat, lost in thought, replay and imagination...) and had a sudden jolt at the realization that TODAY was the last day to turn in the form saying that you would go to a pizza party with the advisors. Since I'm all for free food, in looking for the form I checked my brand spanking new school email address and found that I had completely MISSED the deadline for a scholarship sign up; and so, a MONTH'S stipend had washed down the drain. Depressed, particularly by the completely opposite responses I received regarded my inquiry into the matter (whether I could still get my money or not, basically; but it's a good thing I went with my instincts and sent two emails!) I ran down to the school in a panic, got everything settled (except for my housing bill but that's another story), changed classes which was a real hassle and ruined my weekend (I would have had a FIVE DAY WEEKEND THIS WEEK. SOB.), among other things.
OK I just realized, my sense of time is very off (I think it was during that entire period as well as now, as I am running on 2 hours of sleep for two days full of walking... but anyway I'll be quick, and yeah a lot of that stuff should be separarte evetns. Girls have such a good memory... like, they can discuss what other people wear... kind of intense. But anyway, on typhoon day I was coming from the school, or maybe my dorm, sometime before dark, on my way to buy a bike. I barely get outside the dorm then a random guy on a bike should come up and ask if I was an international student. I said yeah, why, and he explained he goes to Waseda too and was interested in some kind of cultural exchange with international students. At this point I could see that he was weird and progressively worsened my Japanese in a bid to be polite but still get away. I gave my friend a lot of crap for not being able to deal with creepy guys on the metro back home, but maybe she has a similar loss of words/thoughts. He started asking me stranger and stranger questions, like if I did sports (I had my sportport soccer shirt on, and he wanted to show me some sketch soccer team within his own club), and otherwise paid WAY too much attention to me. Later he asked me about religion and I kind of mad up something/half said the truth; I mentioned that among other things, I sometimes read the bible as an academic text, and instantly he seized upon that opening to invite me to his bible study. He kept trying to get me to say I would go, and even resorted to pulling out his phone as a subtle hint to exchange numbers (I would have hella 断るed this guy...) but all of this was over 5 or 10 minute conversation, and just as I was about to basically run away from this guy (he was heading the same way I was...) TOMI WALKS UP and recognizes me (she had just seen my haircut on fb haha). I was so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so happy to see her!!!! She'll get her own post tommorow, but right after we got away from that guy (being Japanese and refusing stuff... must be hard haha..), she told me the DEAN of the school had told her to stay away from political activist and religious groups on campus. Clubs here are intense (need to write letter to Martha), but apparently they are like Scientology in inescapable society terms...
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