Refreshing Dissapointment

I called home yesterday, and it was good talking to my grandparents and nephew, but I missed my sister AND found out things are basically still the same which left me on an extremely sour note.

I finished that report last minute, was extra late to class, which incidentally let out early as soon as I got there, and then found lots of mistakes in my own work, which really let me down after getting chewed out for being late (again). Today I was supposed to meet a friend (I am hesitant to call her that but also wary of my own jumping to conclusions mistrust of people) on the pretense of asking something (I was going to ask about a homework project...) but really to catch up because it's been over a month or so since I've saw her, but apparently she caught a cold somewhere between this morning and an hour before we were supposed to meet.

I had just arrived at a comedy show and maybe can ask someone else for what I wanted to ask (although it's pretty specific, about what the international groups due to stick together when the international students leave, and also about Japanese dating and sex culture but those kinds of things always pop up on their own when I talk to people ;) ), but still it's like "wtf? I even dressed a little お洒落 today..."

Not to mention the comedy show, which was billed as mostly English but some Japanese, turned out to basically be just some random guy talking about his thoughts about how bad the Japanese comedy industry is, and how hard it is to be innovative and the history of English (ie American) comedy. THERE WERE NO JOKES. Well actually there were, but they were all videos of old comedy shows that he showed, which for the most part weren't funny, so I feel even worse for the people who are/were actually interested in the performance or finding out how to do comedy themselves.... So I really wasted my time. (I did find a 文学部生 specializing in Genji, which was kind of interesting... but I walked farther than I wanted to...)

But even so I feel refreshed. Somehow, at this time when I normally want to die (by which I mean collapse on my bed sleep deeply), I suddenly feel like I have energy, , don't have much work, have time for all the things I want to do and need to catch up on, and a lot of other good feelings. I'm going to get my multiple re-entry permit tommorow (I'm not going to Korea this weekend like I thought I wanted to/could have...), I talked to Yang the other day!, can start making plans for Korea and Taiwan (where I'll get to meet up with a lot of friends over the winter break!!) and Singapore tickets are really cheap right now too!, am saving money sort of, can finally finish a movie I've been "watching" for weeks now, feel like I'm making a lot of progress in Japanese ability, and making good friends here... so I guess maybe that's why. But still, it's very different than normal, my heart is a little lighter than I think it should be, I have a little more hope and will (resolution? I can't think of the word). Maybe it'll be like this from now on. I don't know. I can't say I'm exactly happy, but this is better maybe.

Will see Tomi-chan tommorow!